How Cowell's gnashers caused chaos

TV mogul Simon Cowell caused a spot of bother on a weekend break in Jersey when his lustrous incisors caused a two car shunt on a minor road. It is believed that the multi billionaire was out taking a walk when his over-shiny nashers reflected against the overhead sun and temporarily blinded an oncoming driver. Although no one was badly injured, one of the drivers suffered slight whiplash. A witness said, “It was a very sunny day, and Mr Cowell was walking alongside a road, dressed all in black. All of a sudden, he smiled at the bird he was with, the next thing there was a blinding flash when the sun reflected off his dominoes and a car had to brake sharply“.

High Waisted Trousers

A spokesman for the annoying, straight, rich, high-waisted trouser wearing, and responsible for some of the most horrendous music and television of the last twenty years, personality, said “Simon stayed at the scene to make sure no one was hurt, and made sure everyone got a photograph and autograph“. It is not the first time Cowell’s “Hampstead Heaths”, have caused problems. They have previously temporarily blinded three paparazzi when he was snapped leaving Tramp nightclub in 2008. Unconsiderate Cowell is believed to have no plans to darken his fangs.


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